My favorite Casino Jokes

Here are some more jokes about life in the casino. If you have had a bad day at the office or just need a good laugh casino jokes are a great way to relieve your days stress and cheer your self up. Go on read a few I bet you will laugh.

Launceston must have the quietest casino in the world. I played poker. It was what I had to do wake up the dealer.

I walked around the casino with a pocket full of chips. I'm still trying to get the smell of vinegar out of my trousers.

The casino in Alice Springs is a bit backward. They don't even have Keno. Instead, they've got as girl who comes up to your table and says, Okay, I'm thinking of a number between one and ten.

Q: What is the only way to keep your money from the casinos in Vegas?
A: When you get off the plane walk into the propellers!

Q: How's a casino like a woman?
A: Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

Q: What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?
A: In a casino, you really mean it!

10 Things Not to Do

1. Never wink at the dealer especially if he's the same sex.
2. Don't bring your silver dollar yo-yo near the slot machines.
3. Don't drink and gamble at the same time. Put the drink down first.
4. Know when it's time to go home - when you've won too much.
5. Don't call for a ball measurement after losing a roulette spin.
6. Don't stack your slots coin tubs on top of the machine just to show off.
7. Don't flip chips capriciously onto the poker table from 5 feet away and say "let it ride."
8. Don't try to psyche out the blackjack dealer by staring at him for 5 minutes.
9. Don't stand up and cheer on your horse at the Sega horse racing game.
10. Don't ask if they oil the blue dog at the Sega horse racing game.